


Prompt Response

by Surefall



Series: The Write and Post Adventures [3]
Category: Cable and Deadpool, Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Nathan Summers/Time (Abstract Entity), Superfamily, rated for language, rated for mature themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2018-10-18 16:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10620393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Surefall/pseuds/Surefall
Summary: Challenges and responses.Challenges are open on both tumblr and here on Ao3.  Come at me.Chapter 9 Prompt: "Let's see if I can jog your Muse: AU where EVERYONE knows Cablepool is a thing except the actual two themselves. I live for that stuff haha. Idk if that fits as a 5+ or a prompt so take it as you wish."





	1. The Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These are the prompt challenges I have open on tumblr and are now open here. The responses will be posted after the first chapter.

#### The 500 Word Ficlet Challenge

 **Basic premise:** You toss me a challenge/prompt/thought, and I try to meet it in under 500 words. 

**Let the buyer beware:** I cannot promise good writing, swift writing, clever writing, or that I will even answer your prompt. Especially not anonymous prompts. 

**Instructions:** One idea per person, please. 

If you choose to give me a prompt, leave a comment here on the rules chapter. You may select from these fandoms: 

**1\. Marvel: Deadpool**

  * Either of the movies (Deadpool or X-men Origins), Marvel 616 or similar, any AU that can be reasonably described.
  * Gen or any pairing except Spideypool. I mean, you can ASK for Spideypool, but the chances it will be answered are not good. (Spideypool requests will have better luck in the 5+ AU group) 



**2\. Marvel: Cable**

  * Marvel 616 or similar, any AU that can be reasonably described. The only caveat for Cable is that I haven't read anything except _Cable & Deadpool_, excerpts from _Messiah War_ , his time in _New Mutants_ , and _X-Force_ #1-30. So there is a body of work related to him that I simply haven't read yet.
  * Gen or any pairing that fits in with the reading mentioned above. 



**3\. Transformers**

  * All continuities except the latest cartoon (Robots in Disguise), the most recent IDW comics, and the Unicron Trilogy. I will consider any non-human AU, provided it can be reasonably described and applies to giant robots.
  * I've RPed a nigh upon shocking number of Transformers, so I'm willing to take most of them on for 500 words or less. I have RPed Optimus Prime and Prowl the most, though.
  * It can be gen or any pairing that does not include Overlord or the DJD (because I hate them).



You can also request something you'd like to see in an ongoing work.  
_Example:_ Suicide in Cablepool Summer Camp AU 

Or something you'd like to see in a completed work.  
_Example:_ Scott Summers in Honeysuckle.

* * *

#### 5+ AU 

Send me an AU in the comments below and I’ll give you 5+ thoughts/stuff about it. 

So for Deadpool, Cable, or Transformers ... Go!

If you choose to request for this challenge, then leave me a comment on this first chapter and tag it "5+".


	2. Faithless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt:** "Cablepool + wade finding out Nathan uses google translate?" From [stryfegrey](http://stryfegrey.tumblr.com/). Additional clarifications included taking place in the comics and "I can only imagine Wade's response to Nate using it to translate diplomatic papers and more".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Pairing:** Nathan Summers/Wade Wilson (can be assumed)
> 
>  **'Verse:** Comics. ~~It actually occurs inside of The Fic That Shall Not Be Named, but shhhh. Comics is close enough!~~
> 
>  **Word Count:** 497\. I edited out almost all description in order to keep the talking. Damn your loquacious ways, Wade.

Nathan didn't look up when Wade burst dramatically through his office door. He counted himself lucky that Wade didn't just swing through the windows on a rope. "You cheat! You cad! I trusted you! Trusted you with my heart!"

"The molecular fabrication modules are operational," Nathan said calmly, "which you would know if you came through the lobby."

"Final-fucking-ly," Wade threw his hands up in the air, "I thought I would starve!"

"You can't starve."

"That's not the point!" Wade stalked over and slapped his hands down on Nathan's desk, "and stop distracting me! I came here for a reason!"

"I was born this pretty, Wade, it can't be helped." Nathan finished signing his name before he leaned back in his chair.

"You, that's, argh, true, but not why I'm here!"

Nathan lifted an eyebrow, amused, "Then why _are_ you here?"

"How dare you sully the good name of Providence! My reputation lies in tatters! No one is going to respect me in the morning after _this_!" 

Wade fished in the waistband of his shorts for a piece of paper, which he unfolded and shoved into Nathan's face. 

Nathan frowned at the copy of his email response to the German Chancellor. "And?"

"How dare you cheat on me with Google Translate!" Wade braced his hands on the desk as he leaned in, "I thought we were tight, Nate! I thought that you _respected_ me! Instead you slip into that hussy site in the dark of night and philander with her!"

"How did you get a copy of this?" Nathan asked calmly, "And how would you know I've used Google Translate?" 

"Because I stalk you. _Obviously_ ," Wade rolled his eyes, "and Weasel set up your internet connection ...and then _shamed_ me with this email when I called him this morning. He knows how unfaithful you are! How could you, Nate!?"

"Weasel speaks German?"

"Don't change the subject!" Wade leaned even farther forward, getting nose to nose, " _I_ speak German! Why didn't you ask me?!"

"You speak French."

"Yes, but I _also_ speak German! And speaking of French! What travesty did you type in there?! 'Jarey mete de peer tut fortune metay vee jet de suvre comme su monseir justcot de luni ver'?"

"Nothing," Nathan muttered, despite the heat that suddenly threatened to color his cheeks as he glanced away, "it was just nonsense."

"If someone's been making fun of your mom's consumption of sugar ... they've been doing it wrong."

"Wade, I was typing in what _you_ said the night before," Nathan said slowly, "so if you've been insulting my mother ... you've been doing it wrong."

"I never insulted ... your ... mother ... " Wade's voice faded into silence. Nathan switched his focus back to Wade and watched with a certain dawning glee as his pale eyes skittered around the office as he looked for exits. 

"What _did_ you say, then?"

"Nothing!" Wade said, sounding strangled.

Nathan leaned forward and purred, "Wade ... "

"I gotta go! The replicators are offline!"

"Wade!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nathan's horrific reproduction of his somewhat unclear memory of what Wade actually said: "Et j'irai mettre à tes pieds toute la fortune de ma vie, et je te suivrai comme mon seigneur jusqu'au bout de l'univers"
> 
> I created that horrible reproduction by listening to the sentence that this tool rendered: <http://imtranslator.net/translate-and-speak/speak/french/>
> 
> The French is the French translation of: "And all my fortunes at thy foot I'll lay, and follow thee my lord throughout the world." and was taken from [http://www.gutenberg.org/files/18143/18143-h/18143-h.htm](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gutenberg.org%2Ffiles%2F18143%2F18143-h%2F18143-h.htm&t=N2UyZGJmNDliMWNkYTNiODhiMWM4NjE4MTA2NjRjYmM3YzM5ZGMzMSw4VzZTY0ZGSg%3D%3D&b=t%3A-rDV0HCKe9ua4OCu7TX-Ag&m=1)
> 
> I don't speak French, obviously.
> 
> And I did warn you I'd reuse that Shakespeare thing again. Well, I gotta say it's still gonna show up other places because I love it.
> 
> So there.


	3. In Rear View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt:** "Nate meeting Prowl? The situation is up to you." From [zyxth-please-study](http://zyxth-please-study.tumblr.com/).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **'Verse:** Marvel comics and Transformers. In my thought process, this ended up dovetailing with a starter from [mannamedafterwire](http://mannamedafterwire.tumblr.com/) which is how we get Belle.
> 
>  **Word Count:** 500\. Everything wants to run longer and have ten children with Providence.

Prowl did not anticipate finding any native autonomous mechanical life forms on this planet, where the dominant life forms were tool using organics. So the cry for aid was a surprise.

Long before this planet had sentient life, Prowl was called from the Well of Sparks to protect and serve. Whatever the war has made of him, however it has warped his coding, it can't destroy his base function. Some things can't be changed. Prowl was sparked an enforcer and whatever else he might be now, he will always also be this.

* * *

Nathan Summers woke slowly and stayed still. He was being moved -- felt like a car.

"You are safe, Cable of Providence. I will not harm you." The voice was synthetic, piped through speakers. "We will arrive at the medic facility of Night Nurse in approximately eight minutes."

If they already knew he was awake, there was no value in pretending sleep. Nathan opened his eyes. He was lying in the back seat of a car. There were seat belts strapping him in, like he was strapped to a gurney. They loosened on their own when he made an attempt to rise and strapped themselves cross body when he was upright.

"Who are you?" When Nathan looked forward, he could tell he was in the back of ... a police car? There was glass separating him from the driver, but the driver seat was empty. The road passed by through the windows. "What are you?" he corrected.

"I am Prowl of Praxus, an autonomous mechanical life form from the planet Cybertron. I answered your symbiont's distress call."

"Me, boss," Belle chirped, but it was a very muted chirp, hushed. A mouse taking care in the shadow of an owl.

"You were damaged and require repair," the voice continued as if Belle had not spoken. 

Nathan gingerly touched his side, where he remembered taking a blow. There was a spongy foam like composite over the wound site.

"You were leaking. This adhesive is used to seal line ruptures and suppress internal fires. It is only mildly toxic to organics. Your symbiont has been provided the formula that will aid in detox."

"Thank you." That was a somewhat alarming, but blood loss _would_ kill Nathan and a toxin only _might_. As a field patch, it was sufficient. "Why would you take the form of a car?"

"My alt is a ground pursuit vehicle primarily commissioned for law enforcement. This form is analogous."

It could turn into something _other_ than a car, which was good to know. "How long have you been on Earth?" Nathan asked, because Providence had been gone for years.

"Five years," the car answered and then expanded, deducing what Nathan would ask next, "The Phalanx brought this planet to my attention. Your infonet briefly entertained me, but the political movement you fostered was surprisingly fleeting even by the standards of your species."

Nathan was being sassed by an alien robot. How had this become his day? "Everyone's a critic."


	4. [5+] Providence Ascendant:  The Reign of the Mary Sue Islands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt:** From [gladdecease](http://gladdecease.tumblr.com/): "How about an AU where, when Cable and baby Hope first timejumped to the future, it was to find a rebuilt Providence (now practically ancient, and with some "improvements" thanks to Deadpool) waiting to take them in?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hand slipped ... nine times.

**1\. Woodstock 2008:** Providence was destroyed and the citizens that used to live there were made homeless.

The X-Men don't take them in. How could they? Thousands of people, majority non-mutant? They dump them on the US government and wash their hands of it. In the wake of the Super Hero Civil War, though, the US government doesn't _want_ the refugees of Providence (and why should they after Cable's shenanigans?).

As the chosen spokeswoman for those refugee citizens, the former Providence immigration secretary (NPC Margaret) hunts Wade down and demands that he do something about it. 

~~(dramatic Optimus Prime voice over) And so began the war~~ So begins the Great Siege of the X-Men.

Wade can be _really_ annoying when he doesn't mean to be. When he means to be, he's a downright menace. When accompanied by thousands of displaced people, with no where else to go, who like him way more than they like the X-Men ... it's Woodstock 24/7 on the lawn of the mansion. Calls to legal authority to have them moved are completely ignored.

It's inevitable that the X-Men succumb to peer pressure. They raise the remains of Providence and gets it reassembled enough to float. After which, the annoying lawn pests promptly move out and take up residence on their floating dump.

Victory is sweet ... and kind of smelling like fish. Well, that's what soap's for.

 **2\. Be Fruitful and Multiply:** A population of one can be destroyed. A population of many is harder to get rid of. 

Genosha was a good example of how keeping all of one's eggs in one basket was a bad idea. If a giant murderous robot appears, it would be good to make it chase after many targets instead of being able to focus on only _one_. So after the repair of Providence ... Wade gets the flight engines repaired and then starts construction of more ships. With more ships, they stop being the _island_ of Providence and become the _archipelago_ of Providence.

(There's also the fact that people have kids and immigration is a thing. Unless the population of Providence remains static, they either have to take land from other countries or they have to build their own. This is a two birds, one stone solution ... even if Wade didn't think of the second reason until after he had implemented on the first.)

 **3\. Two National Industries:** Wade pays for more islands with blood money and the power of tourism. 

"Welcome to the archipelago of the sovereign nation of Providence. Home of not just the best food in the Pacific but also the best tourist experience money can buy. Relax in the unique environment of a floating city, the home of the future. Spend your days drifting on the South Pacific, visiting ports in Indo-Asia, and enjoying the hospitality of the most Zen place on Earth. End your journey with a gentle flight through the stratosphere and an day's orbit around the Earth."

 **4\. Faith in the Fourth Wall:** When discussing Providence, Wade likes to call them the Mary Sue Islands. 

The more special snowflake Providence is, the better its chances. Monarchies and benevolent dictatorships always get a leg up. Just look at Wakanda, Latveria, and the Inhumans. He knows how these things work and he's totally doing this on purpose to thwart the awesome cosmic power of the Marvel writers, who he knows are just waiting to make his islands another Genosha. 

**5\. These Islands have Three Dads:** One day, Wade asks Tony Stark what will happen to his AIs when he dies. This eventually kicks off the great collaboration between the archipelago and Stark Industries in creating the living islands of Providence. 

After taking a few cruises on the archipelago and getting a feel for the people who had chosen to make their home there -- the people who had sat on the X-Men's lawn until they got what they wanted, the people who had cleaned up and repaired the original island, the people who were dedicated not just to the ideal that had started Providence but the islands themselves -- Tony agreed to allow his AIs to be integrated into the ships. 

Tony will never tell Wade, but it wasn't just for the sake of his AIs (who, with proper care and maintenance, can live forever). It was also for Wade's sake (who would also live forever). Human or machine, immortality wouldn't be as bad if they weren't alone. 

**+6. Reunited At Last:** When Wade first sees Nate, he punches that asshole in the face. Then he has to grab him (and then he hugs him) because of the baby and _Wade had completely forgotten about the baby_. Nate doesn't give him shit about it because _stab his eyes, what happened to Providence?!_

 **+7. The Fly High Life:** To Nathan, its almost a shock how much has changed. He's on Providence, a ship he had left at the bottom of the ocean ... and it's only the crown jewel in a sea of glittering gemstones, the flagship of a fleet. 

The original 25 living ships are now 200 and they have five times as many AI-less escorts. This is an aerial nation, housing normal humans and mutants, the living ships and their citizens living peacefully together. They float on the ocean, fly in the clouds, or drift through space ... whatever suits their moods or the needs of the fleet.

 **+8. Little Book of Grudges:** This isn't a war torn dust bowl ruled by a mad tyrant. This isn't a helpless village. This isn't a desert with one lone man and a child. _This. Is. Providence._ When Nathan's enemies come, they find that Nathan has more allies than he knows what to do with.

 **+9. Better Offers than Paradise:** Wade wants Hope and Nathan to stay. 

Let the past be in the past. It's obvious that whatever importance Hope might have had back in the twenty-first century to mutant kind ... that need was temporary at best. Life and mutation have found a way. The population of Providence is proof of that. 

This could be their home. The whole of the future isn't perfect ... but that too can change with time and Wade has the luxury of time. He'd like to spend some of that time with Nathan and Hope. 

Nathan doesn't take him up on his offer.

 **+10. Meddlesome Kids!:** Nathan and Hope return home a few months after they left. 

... but Nathan skips backwards first. Just far enough to tell his Past Self in the belly of Providence preparing to destroy it ... not to destroy it _quite_ so thoroughly. 

... and it wouldn't hurt to drop a word or two in Stark's ear ... that the future is brighter because of _his_ children.

(Nathan Summers can't help but _meddle_. He's an interfering old so-and-so.)

The reconstruction of Providence is well underway. The future is secure. 

(Nathan is a little bit smug that _he_ had something to do with it ... but mainly he's proud.)

Nathan takes the present Wade up on his future self's offer.

* * *

**Skip a little bit to the left, into a world where the light casts a longer shadow ...**

**+11-AU. Protection Racket:** Having a secret fleet is dead useful when the aliens invade.

The building of the extra islands would make Providence enemies that it couldn't afford. So Wade builds them _underwater_.

The rising of his ships from the ocean to surprise attack the alien incursion is one of those things that make a really nice headline. Folks are pretty grateful for the last minute save. Extra points for showmanship.

Wade's offer to use Providence as a Earth Protection Force also makes good headlines.

(The best hands are our own. _Right, Steve?_ )

His willingness to space the Avengers when they try to knock his ships out of the sky ... is not a nice headline.

His willingness to burn down capital cities when their governments make aggressive moves towards Providence ... the headlines keep getting worse, really.

And after that ... well, it's just a few short steps to the total domination of Earth.

... but at least they're safe from aliens. ****

 **+12-AU. Summer Children:** Wade has different, but equally crazy, quirks. He loves his inanimate island ships like they were his own children. _He is very serious about it._

He is ecstatic to introduce Hope to her _two-hundred brothers and sisters_! One of them is even named Hope too! They're gonna love her! And Nate! Who doesn't love Nate?

And Evan! They're gonna have to make a state visit and see Evan! Nate would be so proud! Look how nicely Evan has grown! And look at his passel of adorable children that Wade gets to dandle on his knee!

 **+13-AU. Raise the Cable Banner:** Wade wears red and black, but the colors of Providence are blue and silver.

 **+14-AU. Long Live the Eternal Emperor:** The strangest thing about the future isn't Providence or Wade, it's _Evan_.

En Sabah Nur rules the earth. A benevolent, eternal dictator married to the Queen of the Underworld. (Wade's rules of flouting the laws of Marvel continue!) Wade makes a state visit so he can introduce Nathan to his grandchildren and Hope to her cousins. 

Evan calls Wade 'Father' with fondness and exasperation in turns. He embraces him as though they were really bound by blood and he welcomes Nathan with every evidence of joy at his arrival. He asks them to stay and confides that his Father could use the company. (This future is **_surreal_** in the extreme, is all that Nate can think.)

Evan's wife is publicly fond, and privately pragmatic. ("Evan's father can crush us beneath his boot heel, Summers. He destroyed his enemies and gave the land to my husband to rule ... and he has far more ships now than he did then. So it behooves me to ensure that he always looks upon his adopted son with favor." Nathan is almost glad to see the dark lining in all these bright clouds.)

... but then she's ancient, raised in a time before democracy was a speck in a Greek's eye. She doesn't grieve for liberal notions of republics or representative rule. Her only nostalgia is for the days when she could kill a slave for failing her (now sadly forbidden). (Nathan is somewhat disturbed by how likeable she is for an elder demon.)


	5. [5+] Consequences:  The Monster I’ve Become

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt:** From [mannamedafterwire](http://mannamedafterwire.tumblr.com/). "au where deadpool joined cable in raising hope after messiah war instead of getting killed bc that was a rubbish bit tbh"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in my mind, _Honeysuckle_ is sort of the bright answer to this prompt (except Nathan  & Hope never face Stryfe directly there). 
> 
> This one ... is a dark path. Something went horribly wrong here. Continue at your own risk. Nothing explicit is contained in here, but there are implications of bad, bad things.
> 
> This music is mood appropriate (written to): [Cave Theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4OqmieRBso)  
> This one too (scan edited to): [Virtua Mima ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvKkqqaFxp0)
> 
> So, keep reading if you dare ...

**1\. Through a Fridge Darkly:** When Deadpool told X-Force and Cable what he had been doing for the last 900 years ... he lied. 

Wade had only the dimmest recollections of who these people even were and he made a heaping pile of shit up while he tried to remember where he had seen Mr. Mc Glowey Eye over here. Something about that one glowey eye ... made him want to put it out. Put out all their eyes. Judgey much? Judging him because, what, exactly? They got to time skip and he didn't? Their mission couldn't be _that_ important if it took them 900 years to get around to it.

That's the thing about time. It wears tall mountains down. 

It wore Wade down too. Slow and steady and relentless, until he woke up one day and realized that he just didn't care anymore. There was nothing to care _about_. All his contemporaries were gone. His friends were gone. His enemies were gone. His children were gone. Nate hadn't kept his promise ... and Wade was still stuck there. Alive. Without meaning. The part of him that had long struggled with being good, with being heroic ... withered and starved. 

With the fall of the modern world and the rise of Apocalypse, few pleasures remained to Wade. No TV. No junk food. No fun. Not much sex when he looked like a walking disease in a now fairly uneducated populace that exists on subsistence farming. Killing was the only pleasure left ... and there was no reason to _stop_ killing.

Except even killing gets boring.

He found ways to spice things up. They just weren't very nice ways.

And they only got worse.

There was a hole in Wade that could no longer be filled ... save with the suffering of others.

 **2\. The Thorn on the Rose:** Time was a funny thing. The longer Wade lived, the less human he became. 

The healing that kept him living changed, like all things change beneath the press of time. In 900 years, Wade has been honed, steel sharpening slowly and steadily into adamantium. He's stronger and faster now ... and he heals ... _fast_. He had already shrugged off bullets, now he shrugs off dismemberment. 

In the time it takes Wade's body to fall from Stryfe's hands, he grows new legs. The cannon wasn't meant to kill Stryfe, just weaken his armor ... and Stryfe was kind enough to put himself in arm's reach. It takes only seconds for Wade to shell Stryfe like a crab and kill him. Telekinesis scrabbles uselessly on Wade's skin, slipping off like he was greased. His mind slides easily out of Stryfe's grasp. Stryfe has the facade virus to thank for that, for giving Wade enough pieces of Nathan to make him immune to Nathan's powers. That's what comes of messing with things one doesn't _really_ understand.

Then he turns his attention on Bishop. It's a very short fight.

 **3\. I Show Not Your Face:** 900 years is a long enough time to learn patience, even for Wade. 

It just takes some time to really _remember_ Nate, though Hope captures his attention immediately. She's just so small and cute and red haired and -- _breakable_. 

What was so important about her again? So valuable that Nate left and never came back? That was worth letting the world fall to ruin for 900 years? What was it?

Well ... maybe Wade can find out. He can play a different game. He was a father ... a few times early on, before the rot set in. 

Nate is kinda gullible, huh? He accepts future Wade at face value, on the memory of the dog Wade used to be, wagging his tail as he came running when Nate called ... the one that still knew what love was. The one made of more than teeth and rage. Wade doesn't remember what that was like anymore ... but he has gotten so much better at _pretending_.

Going with Nate, finding a nice little place -- scenic, really -- to raise Hope, until she's all grown up -- such a short bit of time, so so short, Wade can pretend for this long, for this mere eye blink in time, for just this long he can be something he is not.

(He forgot how nice it was to be with Nate. Why is it so nice? He _missed_ this.)

( ... but it only makes him angry to be reminded of things he's not allowed to keep.) 

(It's no secret that Nate plans to raise Hope here ... and leave.)

(They'll leave him.)

(Just as soon as they've finished using him.)

 **4\. But Your Heart's Desire:** After Stryfe, killing Nate is easy. 

It's making it look like someone else murdered him that's the tricky part. Baby telepaths are just so nosy. 

Wade takes his time to set it up. He's only going to get to kill Nate once and he wants to enjoy it properly. (He does. He does. He does.)

Then it needs to be laid out just so, to lay the stepping stones to the future that Wade wants the past to have. The one where he gets to have so much fun with Hope, just him and his girl ... for the eye blink in time that he'll get to have her. He points the murdery finger squarely at the ones who chased Nate and Hope here to start with.

She's his beautiful baby girl ... and Wade's the only one in the world now qualified to raise her, when her powers rage out of control in her grief and pain. The only one who can just _reach inside_ and turn her power off, like flipping a switch, tickling the facade virus that lies inside her blood and bones.

Nate couldn't have known what it would be like, to have the facade virus in _everyone_ ... with only Wade having the spare key. Too bad it took so long for him figure out how much fun that could have been. All these missed opportunities.

Wade loves (to use) Hope. Wade's teaching Hope (all about _vengeance_ ). Wade is preparing her for the day Hope will have to return home and fulfill the destiny that Nate (that Wade) intended for her.

He never lays a finger on her. He never raises his voice. He's never ever mean. He's _devoted_ (to the terror he'll bring the old faithless world, the world Nate loved more than Wade) to her happiness and well being. 

Wade just makes sure she can never love the old world ... the world that reached out and took Nate from her.

 **5\. Some People Just Want to Watch the World Burn:** In Six Minutes -- A Six Minute War -- Hope kills millions of people in vengeance for her father's death, for the sake of her other poor, grieving father. 

The future that Bishop tried to prevent is the one he brought upon himself.

It makes Wade _so happy_.


	6. Wears Tall Mountains Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt:** "Cable hooks up with ~Time itself" From [Monroe_Happens](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Monroe_Happens). Additional clarifications included "Cable never seems to die when he's supposed to, he's just displaced in time. His 'Death' on Providence, when he 'died' to save X-Force. Instead of meeting Mistress Death, Time intervenes. He meets Time, it should be somewhat with cannon".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Pairing:** Time/Nathan Summers
> 
>  **'Verse:** Comics. Takes place immediately after the destruction of Providence.
> 
>  **Word Count:** 500\. It's not usually the writing that takes forever, but the editing to fit. XD

Nathan is in the inferno that Providence has become. 

Then he is in an endless gleaming space and three figures were before him. "Am I dead?"

Do you feel dead? The child is not a child, but a wooden mannequin without face or hair. It fingered the endless folds of their dress, stroking over a rainbow of embroidery, the pattern so thick and intricate it dazzled the eye, before coaxing a green thread loose from the weave and casting it into the air.

Death was most displeased that we took you from her. The woman is tall and thin, her limbs like candle sticks, her skin as smooth and white as wax. Her hair is a waterfall of pure gold and her eyes are gleaming coals. She catches the thread and draws it through her fingers, measuring out a generous length before she lets it fly.

She was quite cross.

You should thank us for our care. The man is craggy and stooped, his skin as cold and dark as iron, and rust creeps across him like a cloak. He catches the thread between fingers edged in sharp and gleaming silver, and the green bleeds away at his touch. He snaps his fingers and the thread sheers and falls away. All around him, threads have fallen, a pale and rotting carpet upon which he rests his hooked feet.

"Thank you," Nathan says cautiously, "you shouldn't have." 

Oh, but it was so much fun to tweak her tailbone.

     Such lovely words you have to fit such a lovely voice.

     Ungratefulness.

They spoke together, words overlapping like river stones. Only Nathan’s experience with telepathy allowed him to understand them. "Who are you?"

You've seen us before.

     We are the stream that flows forever.

     Until it doesn't.

     We are Time.

     Are these forms not pleasing to you?

     Would you prefer this one?

The doll spun into the woman's arms and burst into flame, melting them into wax and color that spilled across the man. He stood and strode forward. His limbs smoothed and straightened, his skin brightened to gleaming bronze. Nathan drew in a sharp breath at the stolen face. "Why did you bring me here? What do you want from me?"

This close and Nathan could see beneath his metal skin to the clockwork within, thousands of mechanical parts fitted together in endless precision, winding and turning. When his hands reached out to cup Nathan's head, they were warm and smooth. Wade's face smiled at him. It has gears for teeth. 

Why should Death get all the toys?

     We have needs too. I bet you taste so good.

     You traveled through our essence. Why are you always such a tease? Take responsibility.

Nathan's alarm grew -- 

_I_ want a toy too. One for my very, very own.

     You don't mind if we have you, do you? Just a little taste ... 

     You're beholden to us. You'll give us what we wish.

\-- and spiked as Time leaned in and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tall mountain is Nate, FYI. 
> 
> Time ended up a creeper. D: Ten bucks says that Nate won't remember this (except maybe he will subconsciously).
> 
> Oh well, Death isn't exactly a sweetheart either, she's just played as crack treated seriously (mostly seriously).


	7. [5+] A Path Diverges:  Grind All Your Crazy Beans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt:** From [minniethemoocherda](http://minniethemoocherda.tumblr.com/): "Cablepool coffee shop au for the au 5+ thing"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL I had to look up what a coffee shop AU actually entailed trope wise before I started. That just goes to show how often I read this kind of AU. So here goes nothing! My hand slipped ten times.

**1\. Inevitable Things Are Inevitable:** Wade Wilson joined the army.

After the death of his father and the settlement of his estate (if a wreck of a house and a pittance of a life insurance can be considered an estate), Wade went where he had always planned to go: the army.

Now, fresh from the army and in possession of an even more run down house, Wade finds himself a job at the local coffee shop, The Beanery.

Wade usually pulls the night shift or the early morning shift. The late because Neena Thurman stopped wanting it after she broke up with her boyfriend, who used to meet her there after work. The early morning shift because Wade scribble notes on cups. 

Sandi Brandenburg might be the local latte foam artist ... but Wade Wilson is there to brighten a customer's day with "Good luck on your geometry test!" or "Perfect hair day! My stubbly locks are jealous" or "Your shirt brings out the color in your eyes" or even just a "Happy Monday! It's all downhill to Friday from here!"

 **2\. Objection! Hold it!:** Nathan Summers is working his way through a law degree and avoiding his dorm room, which he shares with old high school friend Terrance Blood. T-Blood likes to party and have girls over. Nathan just wants to study and not field questions from T-Blood's lady friends. 

After the library closes, his favorite place to study is the corner booth of The Beanery, a 24 hour coffee shop near the university.

Nathan had started going there because his ex-girlfriend Neena had worked there and being there when she had gotten off shift had almost assured Nathan the opportunity to spend time with her. Post break-up he had avoided the place ... but the convenience of it had eventually drawn him back.

 **3\. Flash Card Dating:** Wade and Nathan's first real discussion is six months after they meet over the counter.

The week before Nathan's winter finals, he spends most of his night at The Beanery, cramming. During a quiet spell, Wade offers to test him on his flashcards.

While initially a little reluctant to impose on a virtual stranger, Nathan could use the help, so he accepts. After running through the set three times with the third time being perfect, Wade suggests a break and a muffin to celebrate.

Over the shared muffin, they have their first talk. It's nothing special, there's nothing serious or earth shattering ... no great revelations are made. It's just two guys and a soon to be disposed of muffin and arguing over how old is too old by the sell date ... but it opens the door to more.

 **4\. Setting Phasers to Stun:** Afterward, they start to notice each other more.

They exchange more than shallow greetings and pleasantries at the register. 

It wasn't that Nathan was blind before ... he just wasn't paying particular attention to how Wade held the mop when he was cleaning up late at night. Or how he lifted boxes over his head. Or the way he focused on the cups when he scribbled his notes. Nathan would prefer that he lavish that amount of focus on _him_.

Nathan's a good looking guy, sure, but he's just one of hundreds of good looking people that cycle through the store ... except now Wade's starting to wonder if his shirts were always this tight? Or his eyes this blue? Those eyelashes are definitely criminal. No one should be that infuriatingly attractive all the time. It's just not fair. 

Wade gives up scribbling cheerful encouragements on Nathan's cup and descends into childish insults. 

Nathan takes on a long suffering expression ... and criticizes the hell out of his mopping all evening.

The more mopping right next to his booth -- with all the flexing of muscled arms that entails --- the better.

Cleanliness is next to godliness, yanno.

Wade whacks Nathan's boots under the table with that mop in pure retaliation for the slander he has cast upon his cleaning.

With Wade half bent over to aim the mop, Nathan takes the opportunity to grab his ass.

 **5\. Flirtation Skill Level Up:** With their eight year old level flirtation detante broken by Nathan's wandering hands ... they end up making out in the booth.

 **6\. Actual Adulting:** Wade likes his job. 

While making it with Nathan might be the thing that's now constantly on his mind, Wade doesn't intend to screw that up. If they're gonna climb each other like trees, they won't be doing it at The Beanery.

Nathan is perfectly happy with Wade's ultimatum.

It's much easier to bang Wade silly in a bed, in Wade's house, where they won't be constantly interrupted by customers or Nathan's roommate.

Really, Wade's plan is _genius_.

* * *

**The AU where everything goes AU instead of actually being AU: The Marvel-616 Coffee Shop AU**

**+7-AU. A Path Diverges in the Force:** Instead of raising an island, Cable (and Deadpool) open a coffee shop in Manhattan called the Presso Cino.

Merging with Wade might have saved Nathan's life, but the consequences of sharing DNA with him have repercussions that Nathan couldn't possibly have foreseen ... like the _visions_.

It's a throw away comment, just one statement in a long string of them that endlessly pours out of Wade's mouth. It meant nothing. It _should_ mean nothing. Except for Nathan it triggers what he can only later say was a vision, a glimpse of an impossible, unbelievable future.

Nathan changes course, as abruptly as if a brick wall had suddenly appeared in his path. From saving the world to declaring his intent to start a coffee shop in the middle of a sentence.

This is, of course, complete crazy talk and Wade is happy to tell him so. 

Loudly and at length.

All the way back to the US.

... but Wade still followed him.

 **+8-AU. Not Good At Everything:** Nathan can't make coffee (and also can't bake or cook).

This probably shouldn't have been a surprise. 

Coffee wasn't drunk in North America in the time period Nathan grew up in. He knows others enjoy it, but it isn't his drink of choice. While Nathan might know his way field rations and can fix a replicator with a shoe string and a hammer ... modern cooking is well outside of his skills. In addition, Nathan has been the field leader for as long as he can remember and field leaders aren't cooks. 

Still, Nathan starts out making the coffee because he doesn't want to man the counter. Wade loves the cash register so much (his, all his! glorious capitalism will reign supreme!) he doesn't even complain about getting the 'lesser' responsibility.

The first customers of the Presso Cino are Domino and Taskmaster. Neena is there to find out if Nathan is being mind controlled. Tony is there to make Wade serve him coffee and trash talk about how the once mighty owner operator have fallen into the dreaded service industry. Wade is immune to trash talk when he's here to _take Tasky's money_.

Nathan's career as a barista is short lived. The first two cups are sipped and Neena immediately stages a coup to oust Nathan from his espresso machine throne and put Wade in his place.

Upon proving his competence with the machine, Wade is declared the new kind of baristas and Nathan is exiled to the cash register. 

The people rejoice!

 **+9-AU. Wade's the Best at Finding People:** Nathan Summers might possibly be the most nosy human being to walk the earth, but it's Wade who knows everyone's business. 

Wade's a talker. He chats up every customer who hangs around the pick-up counter a second too long. He knows every birthday, the names of all their kids, whether or not they're getting a promotion, and if they're cheating on their partners. 

It doesn't take Nathan long to realize that Wade mines information the way other people mine gold. 

In contrast, Nathan is ... awkward. Interacting with modern people outside of a battlefield ... with people who aren't X-Men or other supers ... that's not something he does much or at all. Wade might make small talk seem as easy as breathing, but to Nathan it's like learning calculus.

Practice, though, begins to make perfect.

 **+10-AU. Falling in Together:** Nathan thought Wade would swiftly tire of the novelty of running a shop and leave, bored with the lack of action ... but he _doesn't_.

At first he thought it was because they were sleeping at Wade's apartment, both passed out after the unexpectedly exhausting labor of shop ownership. It would be hard to kick out your sudden room mate when you were both too tired to care about who was sleeping where.

Then he thought it was the entertainment value. Wade was so gleeful every time he took Taskmaster's money and Taskmaster practically gloated over his cups of coffee. Then there was the cackling that sometimes emanated from the espresso machine while Nathan sorted out some thorny miscommunication over syrup and cup sizing ... 

Then he thinks it's the visions. Nathan got them from Wade. He knows he did. So surely Wade must see what Nathan had seen and had agreed that this, of all futures, was the best one ... and yet ... Wade must have had visions long before Nathan arrived and he had never changed the arc of his own actions, never forged a different path for himself, never _cared_ what the future held.

Eventually, Nathan runs out of reasons to give himself and just asks Wade why he stayed by his side.

That Wade _liked_ him was not the answer that Nathan expected to get. 

... but it was the best answer of them all.

... and Nathan would use it to bind Wade to him permanently, to make him a partner that Nathan could never lose.

 **+11-AU. None Shall Pass!:** Their shop goes almost entirely unnoticed by the super hero community until the usual drama rolls its way destructively down the street.

Wade can never resist a fight, so he's out the door in a second. Those swords on the wall aren't just there for decoration. Neither are the guns under the counter. Just because Wade is domesticated doesn't mean he's lost all perspective. Nathan tolerates Wade's paranoia only because he's just as paranoid. 

Despite being well prepared for war, Wade doesn't bring any of it. This is recon only! Nathan can bring the arms if this is going to require the equivalent of an air strike. 

Spider-Man doesn't appreciate his fight with Rhino suddenly being interrupted by Deadpool wearing an apron. The only saving grace is the fact that Deadpool seems to be unarmed. An unkillable unarmed smartass happy to be a target ... okay, so maybe it isn't as annoying as it could be.

Much slower to join the battle is Cable, who casts his eye and mind across the battlefield that used to be a street and decides that will be just enough of this nonsense.

The glowing shield that spreads across his storefront and then down the street, cutting across to shield the other side of the street and effectively trapping the combatants ... ends the fight. 

Cable floats above them, a picture of cool annoyance. Deadpool cheerfully waves at his co-owner and bitches about how he ruined his fun, completely breaking the tension.

Rhino gives it up. Cable is well out of his weight class and has the upper hand. Spider-Man appreciates the save, but he's confused ... and mildly alarmed. 

By the time the police arrive to take Rhino into custody, peace has been restored.

Cowed by Cable, Rhino sits outside Presso Cino, drinking a huge mug of coffee and grumbling imprecations at Spider-Man, who is perched on his shoulder drinking his own coffee and munching on a muffin.

Cable is repairing the street, downright annoyed at all these shenanigans, while Wade is peddling single serve espresso outside the Presso Cino's door like a barker at a circus attraction.

 **+12-AU. Gossip Spreads Faster Than Spilled Coffee:** A super of Cable's magnitude does not just _serve coffee_. A hitman of Deadpool's reputation does not just _make coffee_.

There's got to be some world ending shit up in here.

Some secret government conspiracy. The alligators are breeding in the sewers and they're conducting a survey of extermination. The Avengers and the Fantastic Four have gone evil and they're spying on them while they determine how best to counteract the threat. Something!

Every gossip and their dog has to visit the coffee shop to take in the sights, buy coffee, and report back. 

Business has never been this booming.

 **+13-AU. Help Wanted:** With all these new customers, Wade and Nathan could use some help.

Nathan could just move everything with his mind and work some Magician's Apprentice wizardry up in here ... but even with the magnitude of his powers, their constant focus heavy use is exhausting. 

While a novelty to their customers, it's also disquieting to watch gravity be so mocked. Creating unease is exactly the opposite of what Nathan wants to achieve. 

Some help, though ... that could be just the thing. There surely have to be some young people out there looking for a job.

Nathan gets his opportunity to bring it up when Cyclops shows up to check on him.

Scott is there to see if Cable is being mind controlled. Or suffering from memory loss. Or being blackmailed by Deadpool.

Nathan deflects his concerns. Just because he's sleeping with Wade and engaging in legitimate commerce with him doesn't mean he isn't in his right mind. In fact, he would like to be in an even righter mind and get at least one day off a week ... perhaps Cyclops could send some of his job seeking students over to work part time?

The request initially catches Scott off guard ... but the more he thinks about it, the better an idea it becomes. Deadpool hasn't killed anyone with coffee yet. Nathan seems to be ... content ... even if he _has_ completely lost his mind. The kids should be safe enough working under Nathan's eyes ... and it would be good to get some of them out among regular people, proving that mutants can work just like everyone else ...

No, the more that Scott thinks about it, the more he thinks that the school should sponsor more businesses like this.

 **+14-AU. Nothing Says Harmless Like "Can I take your order, ma'am?":** It's hard to feel threatened by Apocalypse when he's a skinny kid behind the counter, wearing an apron, repeating your order as he punches it into the register.

Evan just wants to get away from the Institute and get a little space without being constantly questioned about where he's going. An after class job at a coffee shop sounded like just the thing.

He wasn't expecting _Wade_ to be there. Or extremely scary Cable politely interacting with customers. Or Taskmaster showing up to imperiously order his usual. Or Spider-Man poking his head in to pick up his own cup when he was in the neighborhood. Or everyone else who was completely baseline in every way.

It's ... different here. Different from being raised as a clone, a copy of other better people. Different from being isolated in a school full of students who judge him for things he's never done. Different from supering and all the drama that goes with it.

Evan likes it.

While Evan isn't the only one of Scott's students to take a shift at the Presso Cino, he's the only one who stays, deciding that he wants a shop of his own when he has more experience.

 **+15-AU. Long Term Planning has Nothing on Cable:** Everything Nathan has done has been to achieve one end.

The purpose that he has devoted his and Wade's lives to. 

The outcome foreseen in a vision so many months ago: _Save Evan, save the future._

Serving coffee would never have been the path Nathan would have taken, but he doesn't scorn the path just because he had never foreseen it. The ends justify the means ... and these are some of the best means that Nathan has ever had to use.

There was more than one path to this outcome ... but in the end, this one was the cleanest, the one with the least amount of loss. The one that gave him Wade and a marriage that he'd never thought he'd have again.  
...

Being fully powered and on hand to shut down the House of M and the Civil War before it gets completely ridiculous doesn't hurt either.


	8. Love Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt:** From [gladdecease](http://gladdecease.tumblr.com/): "Here's a prompt for you: tell me about that dead drop. Who came up with the idea? In what goofy and/or inappropriate ways has Wade used it? (Has Nate ever been the one to use it?) etc."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really an AU prompt, but it was destined for something longer than a 500 word prompt. 
> 
> I actually had a fic idea based on the drop box once, but there were too many other fics in the works at the time, and I never got back to it.

Two way communication through time is functionally impossible. Nate always has to be such a big damn hero, flittering off to help the X-Men or kidnap destiny children and fleeing with them through time ... and Wade's stuck taking the long way. He hates it.

The idea of the drop box had been bounced around once or twice between them, idle conversations in their down time. Wade just has to make those idle conversations a reality.

He knows where all of Nate's safe houses are and all of his secret stashes. He can let Nate know just how annoyed he is with being left behind _alone_.

So he does. At the beginning anyway. 

It's just ... 

Wade always starts out meaning to troll Nate. He gets twenty chickens into a bin before remembering they'll be chicken bones by the time Nate finds them and it's Domino who's scared of them anyway. The one hundred and twenty-two mouse traps strung together like a Rube Goldberg machine looks down right mean by the time he's finished assembling it -- Nate could be in trouble and hurting when he opens that safe house, the last thing he'll need to do is untrap Wade's traps. The six hours of Rick Roll on an mp3 player seems stupid if Nate can't even sync up to it.

That's how it always starts ... but somehow it always ends up in a care package (and all of Wade's heart spilling out on the paper. He wants to wad it up and burn it, but he never does. It's not like Nate will _really_ show up here and find it and then actually read it, right? Right. Wade's just pissing into the wind. Lancing a wound. Filling time for when Nate never comes back and Wade smells the roses and his damn fool heart figures out what his head already knows.).

_Nathan reads them all and keeps as many of them as he can. To leave pieces of Wade's broken heart behind for scavengers to pick over? No. They can have the guns and the food and the clothes and everything else that's left, but not **this**. No one can have this._

Guns and ammo and grenades. The future might have cooler tech, but a gun is a gun and a grenade is a grenade and humans are still made of flesh and bone. Clothes, not for Nate, but for the little girl he's taken with him. Coveralls and sneakers and fleece jackets with polka dots on them. Toys and stuffed animals and candy treats. StarkTech and camping gear, kerosene and matches. ... and food. So much food. Crates of it packed away, MREs and protien bars and dried fruits and vegetables and grains in sealed tins and cans and cans of everything under the sun. Wade Wilson had turned his paranoia to maximum effort and stockpiled in every safe house, every hidden basement, every tucked away contact point the two of them had ever shared with everything someone on the run would ever need.

_Wade's not there, but he's always there anyway, watching Nathan's back._

_Nathan knows he and Hope are going home, just as soon as they **can** come home, even if there's no way to tell Wade, no way to let him know that they still love him and they **will** come home again._

* * *

Nathan Summers, on the other hand, is using their drop box system completely inappropriately. He doesn't only travel forward in time, he also makes regular trips backwards, if only to top off his bank accounts. Spending a few extra hours in the past to get something fun? It's not a big deal.

Erotica from every era, from something as respectable as the Kama Sutra to the first black and white nudes. The tawdriest and silliest romances he can find, that have rightfully slipped through the cracks of history as so much trash. The worst bits of poetry scrawled on a scrap of foolscap (and some he's even made himself, slipped in with rest). A naughty music box, a raunchy knockoff of a Fabergé egg, a cleverly painted risqué fan, and an assortment of odd sex toys.

He's not just sending Wade naughty notes about how he'd like to see him next ... though watching Wade babble (and occasionally blush!) every time he comes home keeps Nathan digging in the back end book shops and red light districts all through time. Smut and cheesy romance might set Wade's heart aflutter, but the weapons make Nathan feel better. The katanas were easy ... but after that he finds things that are just as useful.

Wade's immune to most of what science can throw at him, but magic is something else entirely and all of the best weaponsmiths are in the past. Swords dedicated to Death that cut through spells. Daggers that always find their mark. Collars that prevent ensorcellment. Iron and silver trinkets to cheat all sorts of petty tricks. Nathan will ensure that Wade will still be there whenever he gets back.

_Wade Wilson is already hard to kill, but the protective runes that drape all over him have made even Dr. Strange hesitate to turn him away from his door. Luckily a healthy dose of guilt trip still gets him to wipe his feet._


	9. Booty Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt:** "Let's see if I can jog your Muse: AU where EVERYONE knows Cablepool is a thing except the actual two themselves. I live for that stuff haha. Idk if that fits as a 5+ or a prompt so take it as you wish." From [havy-squeals](http://havy-squeals.tumblr.com/).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea how best to fulfill this. My usual 5+ approach didn't really work. Then I thought I'd do five sets of 100 words ... but then I fell down the rabbit hole and ended up with what we have now and didn't want to cut it. :D 
> 
> Have my feature presentation and bonus material. Archipelago AU, Sexy Crossover Car AU, and AU of Grindr AU. They're separated by line dividers.

On Providence, drifting aimlessly in the Pacific Ocean, the afternoons were too hot to work outside. While the ocean breeze and an occasional rain storm provided some relief, the heat reflecting from the metal was enough to scorch bare feet in the mid afternoon. The work cycle had split into two, with a five hour shift in the morning, from before dawn until early lunch and then in the late afternoon until late evening. 

As such, Nathan was used to late evenings, early mornings, and a long afternoon nap. His interlude with Neena left him pleasantly boneless, but it wasn't enough to get him to sleep this early. He'd stayed in bed for Neena's sake, snuggling until she had fallen asleep. Now he relaxed his shields, choosing to listen to the island rather than get up and get back to the paperwork he'd set aside for Neena's company.

The island hummed, the sleepy dreams of children mixing with the relaxation of their parents. There was a party towards the south, excitement and anxiety in equal measure. Open shops were starting to call for closure, disappointment and relief and contentment. Irene was pouring herself some wine and Margaret was working late and Wade -- Smoke and saffron spilled in aimless patterns through the sky, whirling upon the downbeat of great wings, a dome of feathers that could block out the moon -- was close by.

A shadow landed on his balcony, a figure in the moonlight. It touched fingertips to the glass door and then turned away, hopping onto the railing in preparation to leaping to the next. On impulse, Nathan flicked the latch and pushed the door open with a thought. Normally, it would be open anyway, to catch the evening breeze and let Wade in. The shadow that was Wade hesitated, before taking the opening door as the invitation it was, and slipping inside. 

The curl of smoke diffused as Wade's mind focused. Saffron flowers fell around Wade, transforming into sparrows and bursting through the open door, swooping across the room to fall upon the bed in a storm of feathers. As inquisitive as real sparrows, they hopped across the covers, pecking and poking at the folds as thought Nathan had hidden seeds inside the thread count.

 _Well_ , Nathan smiled against Neena's shoulder with sudden wicked amusement, pressing a kiss to the skin there, _I **have** been hiding some seed. Just not birdseed._

A sparrow climbed up the cover from Neena's side, clinging to the edge of the fabric with sharp claws, until it was even with Nathan. Then it puffed up its feathers and pecked Nathan sharply on the nose. Nathan drew back in surprise and the sparrow smugly stole his place on Neena's shoulder, feathers puffing out until it was a brown and cream ball of fluff. One of its fellows clambered up to join it, chirping at Nathan derisively.

Amused now, Nathan rolled over, reaching back to grab the pillow to resettle himself more comfortably and shoving the covers down to disturb the whole fluffy lot of them. The sparrows trilled their dismay as they burst into the air and then promptly resettled, undeterred by Nathan's efforts to evict them. Two of them determinedly landed upon his stomach, their tiny claws tickling, though not as much as the beaks they happily stabbed into his belly button and then into the folds of his technovirus, looking for nonexistent seeds. Neena's scolded Nathan's in frosty little chirps, but Nathan's ignored them completely.

Nathan glanced up from his tiny companions as Wade approached. His mask waggled about, making it difficult to read him as he took in the bed, but he sat down next to Nathan anyway. The moment Nathan took his attention off the sparrows, they exploded into thick, rising dough. 

The pancake they had become smothered him like blanket, warm and steamy, dripping syrup and butter into his hair. Nathan snorted to contain his laugh, speaking softly so as not to disturb Neena, "I'm not cold, Wade. Its impossible to be cold in Providence."

Wade looked at him like he didn't know what Nathan was talking about, which was nearly as amusing, "Way to start a conversation, Mr. Apropos of Nothing. _I_ would have started with 'don't you have a date today?' and 'in bed before midnight? are you sick?', maybe peppered it with a little, 'how dare you cheat on your paperwork with this paper white hussy!'."

"Neena isn't a hussy," Nathan said placidly, warmed by the fact that Wade was paying attention, but he hardly needed to worry about _Nathan_ 's lack of sleep when no one could confirm if Wade ever actually slept at all. Suffering the curse and benefit of constant regeneration, Wade seemed to derive all the rest he could possibly need by vegetating in front of the TV for six solid hours a day.

"She's a hussy because she's sleeping with you and _you're_ a hussy, though not as much of a hussy as Eleanor, who had a date with two different guys tonight, which ended in fisticuffs. Fisticuffs is a cool word. Have you _listened_ to it? _Fist_ icuffs. Fist _i_ cuffs. Fisti _cuffs_. That's just magical, is what it is. Anyway, they both broke up with her, but she deserved it since she was leading Josh on for three weeks now while texting Raj on the sly, which we all knew about since Jamica got into her phone and read all the messages to the book club at their Saturday meeting two months ago, but we were waiting to see the inevitable fallout since you know what it's like when you try to get inside a love triangle. The claws come out, Tiger Guy, and then it's just hurt feelings and broken friendships and binging on shitty music. And then!"

_"They're completely in love with each other."_

Neena had thought Irene was wrong. Or she'd been exaggerating, making assumptions that simply weren't true because Deadpool's lack of filter had that affect on people. 

Everything seemed unchanged. Wade was just Wade. Running his mouth constantly and generally making a nuisance of himself, flirting outrageously with her and Irene, depending on who was standing in front of him at any given moment. Nathan was still dramatic and grandstanding, he still liked to have things his own way ... and he was still a wonderfully uncomplicated lover, warm and comfortable and satisfying. 

... except Irene wasn't wrong. Sweet Christmas, Irene was completely right. 

For there was Nathan, chatting away with Wade, in the middle of the goddamn night, in their goddamn bedroom, on their goddamn bed, where they still lay after having had goddamn sex, right next to her goddamn naked and formerly sleeping body. 

Wade sat on the bed on the other side of Nathan, leaning back on his elbows as he tapped on Nathan's blanket covered thigh to make his point, voice lowered to a theatrical whisper in what was a pathetic effort not to wake her. Half propped up with a pillow and the arm he had folded behind his head, Nathan murmured quietly in response. His metal hand rested low on his stomach when he had shoved the blanket down, twitching occasionally for no particular reason Neena could see ... unless it was the suppressed urge to catch Wade's tapping fingers in his own. Neena wasn't blind to the _display_ Nathan made, reclining indulgently, skin gleaming in the moonlight and soft radiance put out by his eye.

That wasn't even the worst part. No, the worst part was the way Nathan sounded, the rumble of his voice low and soft and _pleased_. That was his 'you delight me' voice. The tone his voice took when Neena shoved him down on the bed and showed him what she _wanted_. The tone reserved for exceptional skill in battle that had nothing to do with their powers and everything to do with their cleverness. A tone that was now being used to discuss cramming Irene's office full of stuffed animals that he and Wade would win at the fair that they were going to go to on Thursday. 

Irene had, if anything, downplayed the situation.

  

* * *

  

"How long have you been together?" Linda Carter asked as she checked his IV.

Nathan blinked in confusion, baffled by the question. When he failed to answer, Lina gestured to Wade, who had fallen asleep in the chair beside his bed, slumped over, his head pressed against Nathan's thigh. Nathan didn't see how that connected to anything. Wade only fell asleep when the area was secure. It was incredibly reassuring, a sign that Linda's facility was everything it claimed. Prowl was likely still outside, a more formidable guard than even the fiercest human medic.

" _Together_ ," she repeated, stressing the word slightly. Her eyebrows rose as Nathan continued to stare at her blankly. The man could not be that oblivious to the way he was tracing the seams of Deadpool's costume, stroking the fabric like it was skin ... unless the drugs were hitting him heavier than she thought. "How long have you been dating Deadpool?" she finally clarified.

Realization filled Nathan, "We're not dating." Everyone made that mistake. Nathan couldn't imagine why. "We're friends."

  

* * *

  

Scott Summers had been waiting his whole life for this. The fact that Nathan was almost thirty years older than him in no way compromised his happiness or the bloom of smug satisfaction. If anything, it enhanced it. Fifty five or fifteen, it seemed that some things were universal. 

The wind blew, the sun rose in the east, and boys still stumbled into the house from a night out looking guilty as hell for getting caught by their parents. Guilty and covering it with sulky, grumping 'I'm an adult, really!' attitude. Scott Summers lowered his newspaper, which he had been reading to pass the time, and drank in the discomfort of his only child. "Wade and Nate, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S---"

"It's too early in the morning to hear this from you," Nathan snapped, annoyed into speaking by Scott's off-key singing.

"It's never too early to wish my son every possible happiness with his future husband," Scott replied with unholy glee, "Or to provide advice on K-I-S-S-- "

Nathan leaned forward to put his forehead against the fridge door as if praying to it for patience. "Please stop. It's just sex. Which your time's insufferable dependence on 'dating apps' has facilitated."

"You've stayed with Wade all weekend, every weekend, for the last four weeks." Scott fixed Nathan with the full force of his 'don't pull your nonsense with me' look. "That's not a booty call, Nathan, that's a relationship."


End file.
